Wednesday, September 10, 2008

49

Toronto's 49th murder victim of 2008 was shot and thrown from a moving Lexus onto Canada's busiest highway.

Inasmuch as the absolute order of events has not been determined, neither has the precise cause of death.

While it is a certainty that the victim enjoyed an unspecified number of bullet wounds, the more immediate cause of his demise may well have been a jarring eighty-miles-per-hour conk on the noggin.

The matter is not clear.

As such, Toronto's Lord Mayor David Miller, obviously inspired, set aside his usual call for a handgun ban in favour of "an all-out ban on carrying silver-plated pistols in champagne-coloured Lexuses with dem big ol' after-market rims".

Police caution that the killing may not be gang-related.

No gold teeth were recovered at the scene.

2 comments:

Spera said...

shouldn't that be "Lexi"?

Hilary Jane Margaret White said...

Hey Carriere,

don't look now but Kathy's linking to you.

Better get those sails down.