Monday, August 18, 2008

Toddlers and Anti-racists

There have been released new U.K. guidelines intended to help teachers of young children punish, identify, punish, root out, and punish racist incidents among toddlers.

The guidelines, designed to increase business for the flagging anti-racist industry, will both find racism where none exists and gradually inculcate children with resentment, thereby improving prospects of future actual racist incidents.

According to the guidelines, indicators of racism among preschool-aged children include use of words and phrases like “blackie” “paki” and “they smell”.

Queried about the fact that smell was alone among the senses to gain singular mention, a spokeswoman for the Ministry of Social Cohesion, False Friendliness, Road Safety, Censorship, Propaganda, and the General Suppression of Liberty and Thought, formerly the Ministry of Roads, hastily pointed out that this was only an example and that the text might “just as easily have been, say, “their funny hats sometimes have an unusual-feeling texture” or “they appear less beigey pink like, than do real Englishmen”.

“Because, there is no reason whatever to say that foreigners smell. Obviously they don’t.

“Everybody knows that.” She concluded, scowled, then continued, “I mean, people are just going to have to judge for themselves what is racism. Why do you suppose we’ve published this thing anyway?”

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