Gin For Tots Foundation

Entering an establishment today I was solicited by two young women behind a folding table.

At this point I pause to remind what I believe to be a healthy proportion of my readership, to pull your minds out of the gutter. You'll not go far encouraging those impulses. I exhort you to raise your mind to higher things. You will be ennobled.

As I was saying; I was solicited.

They were raising funds and attempting to raise some of mine. They said something about alcohol and tobacco and kids. I wasn't paying close attention.

So I said, as I reached for my wallet "So then... you buy whiskey and cigarettes for under privileged kids? Well I'm not sure as I support starting them too young, but then, what really is too young, eh? I mean, I think it's nice when poor kids can have the same opportunities as the rich ones".

I looked up, holding in my hand all the money I had. They appeared as if bewildered.

"What?" I said, innocently, or meaning to sound so.

"No" began the one, "We try to keep kids off alcohol, drugs and tobacco".

I did my best to look at her as if she had a gin and tonic for a head.

"Off... tobacco? Really? You don't say. Well, then I apologize. I misunderstood. I'm afraid yours is a bit of a useless project. Because if their parents won't keep them off drugs, then my money won't do any good either. I'd much rather spend it on my own alcohol.

"But I wish you all the best of luck. Good day".