Right Honourable Stephen Harper, Prime Minister
Honorable Robert Nicholson, Minister of Justice and Attorney General
May 13, 2008
It has been almost a month since my last letter concerning the Canadian Human Rights Racket.
While I was a tad disappointed to receive no reply, I understand how running an exponentially-growing enterprise like a Conservative government can keep a fellow busy.
I've been having a look at this thing just put out by the Department of Justice, so-called. Does it count as NewSpeak when you call fifty pages "a brief"?. Anyway we Right Thinkers know a foregone conclusion when we see one, so since you're plainly intent on ending civilization, I was just writing to ask if you could maybe see about dropping the tax on liquor.
It looks like a bumpy ride you're planning, and cheap liquor would sure help us Right Thinkers get through. Plus, when you call again next week asking for donations to the Conservative Party Fund, if we're well soused, we may actually decide to continue donating.
You may want to offer distillers a subsidy.
With every good wish, I remain,
Your humble servant looking every bit forward to the gulag,